Bacon Chocolate Banana Bread

Recipe from Contributor, Analiese Trimber, founder of The Bacon Princess

I don’t know about you, but I have a really bad habit of buying an unsuitable amount of bananas. This goes both ways. Sometimes I don’t buy enough bananas, and find myself going insane because I always want something I can’t have, which is a statement that applies to both men and food, but more so food because let’s be real, eating banana pancakes when you didn’t think you could eat them is way more satisfying than getting a stupid boy you’ve been pining over for no reason at all. Unlike men, food is sustenance and you literally need it, but I digress.

Since this recipe is for banana bread, you have probably realized this story is about buying too many bananas as opposed to the opposite. Sometimes I buy way too many and they die a slow, painful death with no company besides a literal heap of sweet potatoes, because my housemates and I also buy an unusual amount of sweet potatoes. I’m not sure why I’m going into so much detail about my grocery store habits, but whatever. If your bananas are dying and deteriorating on your counter, make this recipe, because it’s bad to waste food but banana bread is also amazing. Just don’t forget to add bacon because when in doubt, add bacon.

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Level: Easy

Prep Time: 10 minutes
Cook Time: 30 minutes
Total Time: 40 minutes

Servings: 2

Ingredients:
5 slices bacon, diced
3 ripe bananas, mashed
1 egg
2 tablespoons oil (I used coconut, which is Paleo)
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 tablespoons milk (again, I used coconut so it’s Paleo)
2 tablespoons maple syrup
1 3/4 cups almond flour
scant 1/2 cup tapioca flour
heaping 1 tablespoon coconut flour
1/2 cup unsweetened shredded coconut
1/2 cup coconut sugar
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon cloves
1 tablespoon espresso powder, optional
1/4 tablespoon salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 cup chocolate chunks

Directions:

  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees and line a large loaf pan with parchment paper.
  2. In a medium frying pan over medium-low heat, add diced bacon and sauté for about 5-6 minutes, or until fully cooked.
  3. Using a slotted spoon, remove the cooked bacon to a plate lined with paper towels to absorb the grease. Pat dry.
  4. In a large bowl, combine banana, egg, oil, vanilla, milk, and maple syrup.
  5. In a separate large bowl, combine all flours, shredded coconut, sugar, spices, espresso powder, salt, and baking soda.
  6. Add dry ingredients to wet and combine until fully incorporated.
  7. Add chocolate chunks and bacon and mix.
  8. Pour batter into parchment paper-lined loaf pan and spread evenly with a spatula.
  9. Put in the oven for 25-30 minutes, or until you insert a toothpick into the loaf and it comes out clean or slightly crumbly.
  10. Remove pan from oven, and let sit for one to two minutes.
  11. Remove bread from pan by grabbing parchment paper. Transfer loaf to cooling rack to cool completely. Or get a fork out and dig into it immediately, burning the roof of your mouth with scalding hot melted chocolate. Your choice.

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Sweet Potato Brownies

Not quite sure what it is, but my sweet tooth has been insatiablelately. Worse than normal, if that’s even possible. However, I can never let my stomach win outright when it comes to a battle with my brain and my morals, hence “healthy desserts.” This is a thing, people. I swear to you, desserts do not have to be bad for you for them to be fulfilling.

Take these brownies, for instance. No gluten, dairy, nuts, grains, or refined sugar. We can continue to analyze these brownies on paper about what they don’t have, but what they do have is obviously more important. Outstanding flavor, rich texture, the ability to satisfy your cravings. And, you can eat half of the pan and not feel gross or even the slightest bit guilty. Now, that is powerful.

Level: Easy

Prep Time: 10 minutes
Cook Time: 40-45 minutes
Total Time: 50-55 minutes

Servings: 16 (ha ha ha, more like 8 or 4 or…2)

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Ingredients:
1 cup sweet potato mash/purée (about one large sweet potato)
1/2 cup banana, mashed (about one large banana)
1/4 cup coconut oil, melted
1/2 cup maple syrup
1 teaspoon vanilla
4 eggs
1/4 cup coconut flour
1/4 cup tapioca flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 pinch salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 tablespoon espresso powder
1/3 cup cocoa powder

Directions:

  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees and line a 10×10 baking dish with parchment paper.
  2. In a medium-sized bowl, combine sweet potato, banana, coconut oil, maple syrup, vanilla, and eggs.
  3. In a separate, large bowl, combine coconut flour, tapioca flour, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, espresso powder, and cocoa powder.
  4. Add wet ingredients to dry ingredients and mix until fully incorporated.
  5. Pour batter into baking dish.
  6. Bake for 40-45 minutes, or until a you insert a toothpick and it comes out clean or just with a few crumbs.
  7. Take out of oven and let sit for a couple minutes.
  8. Grab two sides of parchment paper, and transfer brownies to a cooling rack.
  9. Let cool completely. This will be hard, but these actually taste better when they’re fully cooled. I wouldn’t make you wait unless it really made a difference! The texture really comes together as they cool.

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Bacon Espresso Pudding Shot

Recipe from Contributor, Analiese Trimber, founder of The Bacon Princess

Sometimes you find yourself lost in a daydream pondering the ideal world. More often than not, that ideal world is full of bacon. Sometimes, depending on the day or your workload, it involves a drink or two. Occasionally, you have the wherewithal to act upon this daydream and you do it. Cue: my life.

I’m not going to lie, these pudding shots required about 75% of my heart and soul, a lot of bacon, and tons of patience, but they were worth it. From the rich, chocolate flavor of the homemade espressopudding spiked with enough vodka to taste it but not really taste it to the salty bacon rim and creamy coconut cream, these shots will get your night started in a deliciously classy way.

One of my roommates described the flavor as “something you would get from a restaurant” and I imagined for a moment I was the female version of Daniel Boulud, and everything was right in the world.

Level: Medium

Prep Time: 25 minutes
Cook Time: 20 minutes
Chill Time: 2 hours (estimated)
Total Time: 2 hours, 45 minutes

Servings: 10-12 pudding shots

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Ingredients:
Chocolate Espresso Pudding 
4 tablespoons corn starch (or tapioca starch if Paleo)
2 tablespoons water
1/3 cup + 2 tablespoons coconut sugar (or any other kind of sugar)
1/4 cup cocoa powder
2 tablespoon espresso powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 cups coconut milk creamer (thicker than regular coconut milk!)
1/3 cup chocolate chips (I used dairy-free because…well, you know)
3/4 cup vodka (I used Bakon vodka because I got it for Christmas and wanted to try it out)
4 tablespoons coconut cream (this isn’t totally necessary but makes it creamier)
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
Coconut Whipped Cream 
1 can full-fat coconut milk, set in the fridge a few hours in advance (muy importante)
2 packets stevia or 2ish tablespoons sugar
Bacon Rim
5 slices bacon (I used espresso rubbed bacon because I’m clearly a bacon connoisseur)
2 tablespoons honey

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Directions:

  1. In a small cup, combine 3 tablespoons corn starch and 2 tablespoons water. Stir to fully incorporate and set aside.
  2. In a small saucepan, add coconut sugar, cocoa powder, espresso powder, and salt.
  3. Turn heat on medium-low and add coconut milk creamer 1/4 cup at a time, stirring to fully incorporate in between each installment.
  4. Once all coconut milk has been added, cook for about one minute, making sure the mixture does not boil.
  5. Add chocolate chips, stirring occasionally so they don’t stick to the bottom.
  6. Add corn starch mixture and vanilla.
  7. Stir constantly for about 3 minutes as the pudding thickens.
  8. Remove mixture to a heatproof bowl and let cool. This might take a little while, but make sure to stir the pudding occasionally or a skin will form, locking in all the heat and never letting your precious pudding cool.
  9. While the pudding cools, it’s BACON TIME. Slice bacon in half length-wise, so the strip is half as wide. Then dice from there. This is the ideal dice for this dish.
  10. In a medium frying pan over medium-low heat, add diced bacon and sauté for about 5-6 minutes, or until fully cooked.
  11. Remove bacon to a plate lined with paper towels to absorb the grease. Pat as dry as possible. Set aside until you’re ready to compile the shots.
  12. Once pudding is cool (totally ok to shove it in the fridge/freezer for a bit if you’re impatient), transfer it to the bowl of your standing mixer (or bowl you can use your beaters in).
  13. Start the mixture on low, and add a few tablespoons of vodka.
  14. Once this is incorporated, add 1/2 teaspoon of coconut cream and an 1/8 teaspoon of corn starch
  15. Repeat steps 13 and 14 until all vodka, coconut cream, and corn starch has been used. If you can add more vodka without the pudding separating, DUH, go for it. Test the limits. Be an inspiration to mankind
  16. Once now-alcoholic pudding is complete, transfer to a flat Pyrex or glass dish and let cool in the fridge for maybe 30-45 minutes.
  17. Clean the bowl of your standing mixer because it’s coconut whipped cream time!
  18. Add the solidified coconut milk from the top of the can to bowl of your standing mixer. I add a few tablespoons of the still-liquid milk as well. This is okay to do. Oh, add your Stevia or sugar now, too.
  19. Turn your mixer as high as it goes, head into the other room and watch Netflix for about 10 minutes.
  20. Return back to your beloved mixer to (hopefully) find some whipped cream. If the peaks aren’t super stiff, that’s ok. The cream is more for taste than anything.
  21. Transfer your patted down bacon to a cutting board and just go to town chopping it. Even smaller than bacon bites. I’ve tried to do this in my food processor before but the bacon is typically too meaty or greasy that it never works. Do it the old fashioned way. Chop the daylights out of it with the sharpest knife you own. Get out any aggression you have while you’re at it.
  22. Transfer your mega-chopped bacon to a small plate.
  23. Gather every shot glass you own. If you’re using disposables, make sure to get the plastic ones so you can add the bacon rim.
  24. In a tiny bowl, add the some honey. Gently dip the shot glass (face down) into the honey, making sure it covers every part of the rim.
  25. Dip the shot glass into the plate of mega-chopped bacon and twirl so entire rim is covered.
  26. Spoon pudding into shot glass. Top with coconut cream.
  27. Put assembled pudding shots in the fridge until you’re ready for them. I refrigerated mine for a few hours and the pudding became nice and thick. You might need a spoon!

Bacon & Leek Sweet Potato Hash

Recipe from Contributor, Analiese Trimber, founder of The Bacon Princess

I don’t want to sound like I’m jumping on any kind of bandwagon, but I LOVE Fall foods. I’ve been finding a way to incorporate pumpkin pureé into as many meals as possible for the last month and any former roommate of mine could easily testify that I have an unhealthy obsession with almost every kind of squash. And even though this is clearly an ingredient fit for any season, for some reason whenever Fall rolls around I try and sauté as many things in white wine as possible. I am by no means a wino (well…), but when something helps expedite the cooking process via a nice quick steam while also imparting flavor unlike water, why would you turn it away? Long story short, this recipe is SO Fall and involves white wine, so make it now but don’t forget to add a nice fried egg on top.

Level: Easy

Prep Time: 5 minutes
Cook Time: 15 minutes
Total Time: 20 minutes

Servings: 2

Ingredients:
3 slices bacon, diced
1 large or two small leeks, chopped and washed
1-2 tablespoons olive or coconut oil
1 large sweet potato, small dice
1/2 cup white wine
1 tablespoon dried rosemary
salt and pepper, to taste

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Directions:

1. In a large frying pan over medium-low heat, add diced bacon and sauté for about 2 minutes or until you render some of that glorious bacon fat.
2. Turn heat up to medium-high and add chopped leeks.
3. Sauté for another 2-3 minutes or so, or until the leeks start becoming a bit translucent.
4. Add diced sweet potato. When dicing this, try for uniform small pieces. Sweet potato can oftentimes take forever to cook if the pieces aren’t small enough!
5. Sauté everything for about 5 minutes.
6. Now for the fun part. Add 1/2 cup wine and cover pot. This will help everything cook faster but also impart a slight hint of white wine which is never a bad thing.
7. Once all white wine has been cooked off, test to see if sweet potatoes are done. If you can stab them easily with a fork, you’re good to go.
8. Add a fried egg on top because what is hash/anything without a fried egg?

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Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Cookie

Nutrition (All batter):

  • Calories: 332.5
  • Fat: 11 g
  • Carbs: 39.75 g
  • Protein: 21.5 g

Ingredients:

  • 1 egg
  • 2 tbsp of applesauce
  • ½ tbsp. of Enjoy Life Semi Sweet Chocolate Chips
  • 1/3 cup of Bob’s Red Mill Gluten Free Oat Flour
  • 2 tbsp of powdered peanut butter

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Directions:

  1. Combine all ingredients into a bowl and stir until a batter-like consistency is reached
  2. Pour and spread onto a plate in desired size/shape
  3. Place the plate in the microwave for 40 seconds

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Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups

Makes 12 cups

Nutrition (for 1 cup):

  • Calories: 25
  • Fat: 0.23 g
  • Carbs: 1.54 g
  • Protein: 4.73 g

Ingredients:

Chocolate Layer:

  • ¼ cup of Siggi’s plain yogurt
  • ¼ cup of almond milk
  • 1.5 scoops of Quest Chocolate Milkshake Protein Powder

Peanut Butter Layer:

  • ¼ cup of powdered peanut butter
  • ¼ cup of water

 Directions: 

  1. Combine and mix chocolate ingredients and peanut butter ingredients in two separate bowls
  2. Spray mini muffin tin liners with non-stick cooking spray
  3. Using a spoon, take small spoonful of the chocolate layer, followed by the peanut butter layer, topped with a chocolate layer.  Use a knife to spread evenly.
  4. Top with chocolate chips or coconut if desires
  5. Place completed cups into mini muffin tin
  6. Put the mini muffin tin in freezer for 3 hours

 

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Cheesy Spinach Quinoa Bites

Makes 12 bites 

Nutrition (for 3 bites): 

  • Calories: 71.25
  • Fat: 2.76 g
  • Carbs: 6.75 g
  • Protein: 4.74 g

Ingredients: 

  • ½ cup of cooked quinoa
  • 1 egg
  • ¼ cup of reduced fat mozzarella
  • ¼ cup of chopped spinach
  • ½ tsp of garlic powder
  • ½ tsp of pepper

** This dish is Vegetarian, NOT Vegan

Directions: 

  1. Cook quinoa if you haven’t done so already
  2. Preheat oven to 350 degrees
  3. Combine and mix all ingredients into a bowl
  4. Spray mini muffin tin with non-stick cooking spray
  5. Fill muffin tin with a spoonful of the mixture (do not overflow)
  6. Bake for 12-15 minutes

 

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Banana Ice Cream Sundae

Ingredients: 
2 frozen bananas
1 scoop of Quest Chocolate Milkshake Protein Powder

Toppings: 
Raspberries
Enjoy Life Semi Sweet Chocolate Chips
Shredded coconut
Trader Joe’s Super Seed Blend

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Directions: 

  1. Slice 2 bananas and place in the freezer for 2-4 hours
  2. Place frozen bananas and protein powder into a blender and blend until creamy
  3. Top with your desired toppings

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Lemon and Tahini Stuffed Acorn Squash

Recipe from Contributor, Analiese Trimber, founder of The Bacon Princess

You could say I’m a little obsessed with lemons. If my lemon spaghetti squash didn’t give it away, this recipe definitely does. You might think that nearly two lemons in one dish that only yields two servings is extreme, but you have to trust me. There’s just something about lemon juice that makes food taste clean and refreshing, like a sophisticated painting. When I add lemon juice to a dish, I feel like the quality is elevated, like I’m actually dining at a five star restaurant instead of in my own kitchen.

For me, lemon zest and lemon juice is what takes my meal experience to the next level. I think every chef, aspiring chef, or home cook should find that one thing they always love to use in their dishes. Once you’ve found your groove, your go-to, your secret ingredient, that’s when you truly develop your identity in the kitchen. So have fun and experiment. Maybe this recipe will make you love lemons as much as I do, and maybe it won’t. But you’ll never know until you try!

Level: Medium

Prep Time: 10 minutes
Cook Time: 45 minutes
Total Time: 55 minutes

Servings: 2

Ingredients:
1 acorn squash
5 tablespoons olive oil
3/4 cup quinoa
zest from 1 lemon
juice from 1-1/2 lemons
about 1-1/2 cup water
1 pint mushrooms, diced
10 stalks asparagus, diced
2-3 tablespoons tahini
1/4 cup pine nuts, optional
salt and pepper, to taste

Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. Using your biggest knife, cut acorn squash in half lengthwise.
3. Scrape out seeds and discard.
4. Place both halves of squash face up in a large glass baking dish.
5. Spread 1 to 1-1/2 tablespoons olive oil on inside of squash, and sprinkle with salt and pepper.
6. Bake squash for 35-40 minutes, or until flesh is tender when poked with a fork.
7. While squash is baking, heat 1 tablespoon of oil in a small saucepan over medium-high heat for the quinoa.
8. Add lemon zest, and several shakes of both salt and pepper. Quinoa needs a lot of flavoring, so don’t be shy.
9. Pour quinoa into saucepan, and let toast for about 2 minutes.
10. Squeeze juice from one half of a lemon into a liquid measuring cup, and top off with water until there is 1 and 1/2 cups of liquid total.
11. Pour liquid into saucepan, turn up heat to high, and bring mixture to a boil.
12. Once boiling, stir mixture, cover saucepan with a lid, and reduce heat to medium-low for about 15 minutes or until all liquid has been absorbed.
13. While quinoa is cooking, heat 2 tablespoons of olive oil over medium-high heat in a large frying pan.
14. Add diced vegetables and sauté for about 5 minutes.
15. Add juice from one half of a lemon, cover pan with lid, and let vegetables steam for about 5 more minutes. Depending on the size of your lemon, you might need to add a little bit of water so you have enough liquid.
16. At this point, the quinoa should be done, but if it isn’t, reduce heat on vegetables to low in the meantime.
17. Add cooked quinoa,  juice from the last half of lemon, and tahini to vegetable mixture.
18. Mix until fully incorporated and season with salt and pepper, to taste.
19. When squash is finished cooking, take out of oven, stuff with quinoa, top with pine nuts if you have them, and serve.

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Paleo Pumpkin and Tahini Cream Sauce

Recipe from Contributor, Analiese Trimber, founder of The Bacon Princess

The word “creamy” is basically the go-to verbiage to describe some of the most tastiest of foods, from ice cream to chocolate to brie. But while creamy foods both savory and sweet are ones that seem to quench cravings the most, the unfortunate part about the word is that it’s usually associated with dairy. Not trying to hate on dairy consumers, but if you’ve been lactose-intolerant since birth like I have, you probably get really excited when you hear the word “creamy” and then immediately come to the realization that you probably can’t eat it.

Little did you know, there is this magical substance called coconut cream that has existed since the beginning of time (or since the beginning of time that we care about, because a world without coconuts is not a world worth caring about). Imagine some settlers reaching the Pacific Islands for the first time stumbling upon this really weird, hairy, hard as a rock thing. It probably took hours for them to figure out how to crack it open, but they did, and they were probably kissing each other for hours afterwards in triumph.

Anyways, this coconut cream, derived from the flesh of the coconut, is even thicker than other creams. Yeah, it’s actually solid and contributes much more flavor than other dairy-filled heavy creams, making it the perfect addition to a sauce. In this case, the coconut cream adds a luscious thickness to the combination of pumpkin and tahini, which is just about as Fall as you can get. Serve this sauce with your favorite base, whether it’s spaghetti squash, pumpkin soba noodles (oh yes, these exist), or just plain old spaghetti. I don’t think you’ll miss the dairy at all.

Level: Easy

Prep Time: 1 minute
Cook Time: 9 minutes
Total Time: 10 minutes

Servings: 2

Ingredients:
1/3 cup pumpkin pureé
2 tablespoons coconut cream
3/4 – 1 cup coconut milk
1/4 cup tahini
1 teaspoon sesame oil
juice from 1 lemon
salt and pepper, to taste

Directions:

  1. Combine all ingredients in a small saucepan.
  2. Bring to a boil, then turn down and let simmer until mixture reaches desired temperature.
  3. Season with salt and pepper as necessary
  4. Serve with some veggies, unless you’re into mono-chromaticism.

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Paleo Bacon Bark

Recipe from Contributor, Analiese Trimber, founder of The Bacon Princess

I made one of those mistakes on Facebook where you like too many pages and your news feed suddenly becomes articles on articles instead of your friends’ statuses. I made a faux pas, but honestly, I’m too lazy to fix it. Story of my life.

Anyways, I saw recently from one of these “news publications” (definitely in quotes because if you saw the pages I follow, you’d hardly call them news) that Fall is “hostessing season.” Well, I sort of think every season is hostessing season, but let’s go with it.

You’re going to need some tasty treats for all this hostessing you’re going to do and let’s be real – there needs to be some bacon on the table. And chocolate. If there’s no bacon, I probably won’t come.

Too harsh? That’s just because this bacon bark only calls for three ingredients and takes less than 30 minutes to make. And if you nab your bacon from my go-to bacon company, it’ll elevate this simple treat to a whole new level.

Trust me, this bacon bark will be your go-to for all the Fall events Facebook says you should be having. You’re welcome.

Level: Easy

Prep Time: 5 minutes
Cook Time: 10 minutes
Rest Time: 15 minutes
Total Time: 30 minutes

Servings: 5

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Ingredients:
2 12-oz bags dark chocolate chips (make sure chips have no milk fat)
5 slices bacon, diced
½ cup roasted and salted almonds

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Directions:

  1. In a small frying pan over medium heat, add bacon and saute for about 5 minutes or until fully cooked.
  2. Remove cooked bacon to plate lined with paper towels to absorb the grease.
  3. Chop bacon to desired size and set aside.
  4. Chop almonds and set aside as well.
  5. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.
  6. Fill a small sauce pan with 1-2 inches of water.
  7. Bring water to a boil.
  8. Place a heatproof bowl over saucepan and add chocolate chips.
  9. Melt chocolate slowly in double boiler, stirring continuously.
  10. Once all chocolate is melted, pour over parchment paper.
  11. Using a rubber spatula, spread chocolate evenly over baking sheet.
  12. Sprinkle with almonds and bacon.
  13. Set baking sheet in refrigerator until chocolate has cooled.

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Apple Spice Mug Cake

Recipe from Contributor, Analiese Trimber, founder of The Bacon Princess

The temperature is rapidly decreasing, which means the time when it is socially acceptable to be lazy AF is approaching. This is debatably the best/only good thing about it not being summer anymore, so you gotta live it up.

This apple spice mug cake is healthy, delicious, and only takes two minutes to make, because sometimes ain’t nobody got time to turn on the oven when your insatiable sweet tooth hits.

P.S. You can eat this for breakfast, because it has espresso powder in it and apple spice > pumpkin spice, clearly. Feel free to jack up the espresso powder if you’re too lazy to brew yourself a pot of coffee. I don’t judge.

Level
: Easy

Prep Time: 1 minute
Cook Time: 1 minute
Total Time: 2 minutes

Servings: 1

Ingredients:
2 tablespoons almond flour
1 tablespoon tapioca flour
1/2 tablespoon coconut flour
2 tablespoons coconut sugar
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1 dash cloves
1 dash nutmeg
1 dash ginger
1/2 teaspoon espresso powder
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/2 tablespoon coconut or almond milk
1/2 teaspoon coconut oil
3 apple slices, diced

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Directions:

  1. In a medium-sized mug or microwave-safe bowl, combine flours, sugar, baking powder, cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg, ginger, and espresso powder.
  2. Next, add egg, vanilla, coconut milk, and coconut oil.
  3. Stir to combine fully.
  4. Add diced apples.
  5. Place in microwave for one minute.
  6. Remove from microwave and enjoy.

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